A Matter of Trust: Follow Your Heart Read online




  A Matter of Trust

  by Marcia Dickson

  All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including scanning, photocopying, or otherwise without prior written permission of the copyright holder.

  Copyright © 2013 Marcia Dickson

  Chapter 1

  Allison was in a hurry. She’d left Lonoke later than she should have, and would miss the beginning of the fashion show if she didn’t make up for lost time. She was normally a cautious driver and kept to the speed limits, but really didn’t want to be late. Even the countryside decked out in its spring finery didn’t distract her. It was a business matter; she needed to stock up on casual wear for next Fall, and wanted to be right on the walkway to get a close look at the models as they went by. So she swallowed her scruples and floored the gas pedal.

  She was tensed up at the speed she was going, so when she heard the sound like a shot, she panicked and hit the brake hard – just the wrong thing to do, since the “shot” was the sound of her left front tire blowing. Almost immediately, the car was out of control, careening across the highway, off the shoulder, through a couple of rhododendron bushes and into a tree. The bushes slowed the car down enough to prevent total disaster, but nevertheless, if I hadn’t been for the airbag, she probably would have been killed. As it was she wasn’t badly hurt, just stunned and trapped.

  As she came to, the first thing she was aware of a terrible agonizing noise in her head – not in her head, she realized after a moment- just the car’s horn blaring, no less agonizing, but at least her head was OK. She struggled to get out of the car, but when she realized it was hopeless she had a moment of panic. What if the car caught fire? Or even exploded. She was fighting off hysteria when she heard a car door slam and a man’s voice shouting, “Are you OK?”

  Just like a man, she thought, do I look like I’m OK? “Sure, I’m just peachy keen.”

  “Sorry! That was a stupid question. Of course you’re not OK. But at least you’re conscious. Let me help you out.”

  Allison started to refuse. The last thing she wanted was help from a strange man on a deserted road. She didn’t even want him to touch her, let alone help her. But after a moment, she knew she had no choice. “Thanks! If you can just stop that noise before it drives me crazy and then just help me get out of the car, I’ll be OK.”

  Without bothering to reply, he went around to the hood, which fortunately the impact had sprung, and disconnected the battery. The sudden silence was blessed beyond belief, but when he reached in to put his arm around her to help her out, she froze and gritted her teeth.

  “Sorry! Am I hurting you?”

  “Just a bit, but it can’t be helped.” She struggled for control as he lifted her in his arms and eased her out of the car.”

  “Can you stand?”

  “Yes. Thanks very much. I’ll be OK, now, if you’ll just put me down.” But in fact, when he did put her down, she had to hold on to the car with both hands to stay upright.

  “Look, you need to get to a doctor. Let me drive you to the hospital.”

  What Allison really wanted was for him to go away and leave her to figure out what to do. She preferred to solve her own problems – much better than being dependent, especially on a strange male. But when she tried to collect her thoughts, she found she couldn’t. “Could you just call the police?”

  “I could, but this is Arkansas; they’ll take hours to get here and you could bleed to death internally. I can’t leave you alone here, that’s for sure, and frankly, I’d rather get you into the hands of professionals than be faced with dealing with you on my own.”

  Allison was clear headed enough to see the sense in what he was saying, and also that there was no help for it. Besides, the sooner she could get him off her hands, the better. “OK, you’re right. Give me a lift to the hospital and then you can be on your way.” That she needed his support to get to his car was galling and frightening, and even worse, he was the one who remembered to retrieve her purse and keys from the car. But finally she was in his passenger’s seat, and he was a safe distance away, so she could relax.

  As they set off for Little Rock, which was about 15 miles away, he said, “My name’s Doug, by the way.”

  Allison knew he was expecting her to reply with her name, but said nothing. She didn’t want to make friends, just get to the hospital. But then she felt guilty. He was really being a big help. The least she could do was be civil. “I’m Allison,” she said.

  “There’s a garage just up the road. Shouldn’t we stop just long enough to get them to collect your car? “

  Allison hesitated but there was no avoiding the fact that he was right. That was exactly what they should do. “That’s a good idea. Thanks.” Allison knew she must seem ungrateful, but hoped he’d think it was just the shock.

  She closed her eyes, hoping to avoid further conversation. The fact was that for 3 years her stepfather had abused her sexually, starting with “just touch me here, sweetie; it’s a kind of a game” but soon progressing to things more sinister. It had only ended when he was killed in a car accident. That was a death she was thoroughly grateful for. But 3 years was long enough to sour her on all men. She wanted to have a little to do with them as possible. Even being in close proximity made her uncomfortable and she avoided their touch whenever possible, which it mostly was. It wasn’t this man’s fault. He couldn’t help being male.

  That made her feel guilty again, and she tried to make amends. “Sorry,” she said,” I’m too discombobulated to even be civil. I’m really grateful for your help.”

  “Don’t worry,” he answered. “I understand. The last thing you want right now is light conversation.”

  “You’re right. Sorry!” Allison reflected that she really must try to remember that there were men, and there were other men. Every man wasn’t her stepfather. Doug seemed like one of the “other” men. He’d been really thoughtful and considerate. There’d been absolutely nothing in his manner to suggest that he might come on to her in any way. She knew that the way she felt about men was neurotic, but she couldn’t break out of it. She figured she was scarred for life.

  Doug, for his part, sensed that her feelings about him were at best ambivalent and that her unwillingness to engage with him was more than just shock. His work as a lawyer in civil and domestic disputes had fine-tuned his intuition regarding relationships. It was a pity, he thought. She seemed like someone he’d like to get to know better. She was certainly attractive, even in her present dishevelment, and her clothes showed that she was a woman of taste. He was, in fact, looking for someone to form a long-term relationship with. He’d had a series of lovers, and had enjoyed the freedom of casual relationships, but the shallowness of them had irritated him, and the last break up had been bitter and protracted. She set out to wound him and knew just how to do it, succeeding deeply. He wanted something better and more meaningful than just fun and games, which gradually stopped being fun and games. A pity that there was no sign of warmth in Allison.

  They stopped at the garage long enough for her to make arrangements for her car to be towed and shortly after that drew up at the emergency entrance of Hope Hospital, a private hospital just off US40, near the eastern edge of town.

  Chapter 2

  Allison had intended to ask him to just drop her off, but she was feeling increasingly ill, and when they reached the hospital, she got the car door open just in time to vomit on the pavement.

  “Just stay there,” Doug said. “I’ll get you a wheel chair.”

  “OK,” Allison said weakly. She couldn’t summon up the strength to refuse.

  As luck would hav
e it, the emergency room was busy, and as Allison was in a less serious condition than most, it was clear that there was a long wait ahead of her. Doug insisted on staying with her, despite Allison’s protests. “Look,” he said. “I’ve nothing particular planned, and I would be worrying about you the whole time.”

  Allison saw that she couldn’t refuse without being really rude, and anyway it would take more energy than she had, so she agreed. It was clear that there were others who needed the wheelchair more than she did, now that she was inside, so she sat on a bench, fortunately one against the wall, so she could lean against it. Unfortunately, however, there wasn’t more than just enough room on it for the two of them, so Doug was closer than she really wanted. But there was, once again, no help for it. She was uncomfortably aware of the scent of his aftershave or cologne or whatever it was, and though he did his best to keep a space between them, she could feel his warmth against her thigh. That was not good and she had to struggle to stay calm.

  They sat in silence for quite awhile, and Allison was grateful that he made no attempt to make conversation, but eventually he asked her if she’d like something to drink. When she thought about it, she realized that she was very thirsty, and asked him to bring her some mineral water – sparkling, if they had it. When he got back with coffee for himself and the water for her, she drank it all almost at once, and felt a bit better.

  When he’d finished his coffee, Doug said, “If you feel like talking, it would make the time go faster. But I’d understand if you don’t want to.”

  Allison, to her surprise realized that she was curious about Doug, and she did need something to occupy her thoughts. So she asked him where he had been coming from when he found her. He told her that he’d been doing a bit of teaching in the Drug Abuse Program at the prison near Forrest.

  “You teach at a prison?”

  “Just now and then in my spare time.” Doug explained that he was a lawyer and watched a lot of guys that really didn’t deserve it end up inside, so he wanted to help them if he could.

  “That’s really great,” Allison enthused.

  “Oh, a guy has to do something to justify his existence.” This led on to a number of details about his life - that he lived in Little Rock, was single, and liked hiking when he was free to do so. He talked quite a lot – partly because he saw it was easier for her to listen than to talk.

  Allison was impressed, despite herself. He showed none of the bravado that she’d seen in many men, and hadn’t set out to convince her how great he was. By the time the intern came to deal with her, she was feeling quite comfortable with him, comfortable enough to notice that he was quite handsome, clean shaven, with a shock of tawny hair, blue eyes and a trim body. It surprised her somewhat to realize that she was thinking of him as a person, not just a man.

  He escorted her to the examination room, and told her he’d wait until he knew what the intern said. She could see that there was no use arguing, so she told him she’d see him later.

  After a thorough examination, the intern decided that there was probably nothing very seriously wrong, but that it would be better if she stayed overnight for observation. Doug went with her to the admissions desk in case there were any problems, but when the formalities had been completed, he had no excuse for staying longer. He realized that he wanted to stay longer which was a little puzzling.

  “Listen,” he said, “I’ll drop by with a change of clothes for you in the morning – just some things I’ve got in the apartment - not up to your standard, I imagine, but better than nothing. “

  Allison opened her mouth to refuse, but then realized that she didn’t want to refuse. Whatever is happening to me? She wondered.

  “Is there anybody you’d like to call?” Doug asked. Sher realized then for the first time that she’d dropped her cell in the car – at least she hoped it was in the car. So she gave him the number of her best friend, June, which he called, but there was no answer. That she was willing to give him a number which he might use to get in touch with her was another surprise. Normally she didn’t give men ways of getting in touch with her, even indirect ones.

  “I’ll keep trying,” Doug said, and Allison agreed.

  Doug walked her to the elevator, and said goodbye. That he didn’t want to escort her to her room was a relief. “Really”, she thought. “He was a most unusual man.”

  Doug was very thoughtful on the way home. So far, he’d just been operating as a Good Samaritan, and had done nothing he wouldn’t do for anybody he found in trouble. But he was interested in seeing if more was possible. It was clear that he’d have to proceed with the utmost caution, but she intrigued and attracted him. He’d give it a try.

  Chapter 3

  When Doug got back early the next morning, Allison was sitting up in bed. She was obviously battered, but in good spirits, helped by a shower and a hair brush, and greeted him with a smile with only a bit of reserve in it. He offered her the clothes he had brought: black lace panties and bra, a charcoal pencil line skirt and a silk shirt in a delicate shade of mauve, apologizing once again that they weren’t up to the level of what she’d been wearing the day before, but were at least clean and whole. “I had to guess the sizes, too; they may be a bit too big, but I thought it best to err in that direction rather than the other.”

  Allison’s eyes brightened at the sight of the clothes. She had not relished the thought of putting on what she’d been wearing the night before. “I hope whoever’s clothes they are is OK with this,” she said, “but they are about my size, which is lucky.”

  “She’s long gone,” he said. “Don’t worry.”

  His reply raised a number of questions and not a few danger signals in Allison’s mind, but she pushed them aside. “Did you get ahold of June?”

  “Unfortunately nobody answered,” he replied. “I tried several times last night and again this morning.”

  “Oh, of course.” Allison belatedly remembered that June was on a business trip to Denver and wouldn’t be back until the weekend. “I’m sorry. She’s away. I’d forgotten. Thanks for trying.”

  “If you get out this morning, you’re going to need some help with transportation. I can give you a lift to a car rental place; if you’d like. I’m sorry I can’t take you home, but I’ve a trial coming up later this morning.”

  This actually came as a relief to Allison, who was wondering how to terminate things without causing offence. Despite her growing degree of comfort in his company, she did not want him to know where she lived. She’d been out of the control of the situation for too long. “Oh, I wouldn’t let you do that anyway. You’ve gone to far too much trouble and spent far too much time on me already.”

  “Well, if the doctor doesn’t delay too long before going on his rounds, I’ll stay until I hear his verdict. Then if he springs you, I’m in place to offer the promised lift.”

  Allison figured she had to resign herself to that, and wasn’t as upset at the thought as she thought she should be.

  “While we’re waiting, maybe you could fill me in on your life, if you feel up to it. I talked a lot about myself last night, but it’s not my favorite subject, actually – too boring. Besides, I think it’s your turn – if you don’t mind, that is.”

  Allison did mind, but really it would be too churlish to refuse completely. “I own and manage a dress shop. I was headed for a fashion show in Little Rock when my tire blew. I’m a native of Arkansas, growing up first in Warm Springs and then in Little Rock. I got a BA in design at the University of Arkansas, but decided that running a shop was less stressful than designing clothes, though once in a while I get an idea that I make real. “

  “When were you at the U of A?”

  “Let’s see - 2005 to 2009.”

  “We were there together for a couple of years. I’m sorry we didn’t meet. I didn’t mix much. I lived at home with my mother and had to work for my school expenses, so I didn’t have much time or energy for socializing.”

  “I wasn’t
really the BMOC myself. To be honest, it took all my time and energy just to keep up with my studies. I’m not exactly the brightest pixel on the screen, to tell you truth. I make my way as a lawyer on my great prowess as an actor or something,” he added with a wry grin. “I was Haemon when we did Anouilh’s ‘Antigone’; that taught me how to do it.”

  “Oh, I saw that; it was great.” Allison was charmed; she had to admit it. A man who could make fun of himself just didn’t fit into her stereotyped ideas about men. “But I don’t remember you exactly.”

  “Oh,” he said with an exaggerated look of reproach. “I was expecting you to say, “You were great! I’m hurt.”

  They both laughed. Allison couldn’t remember when she’d laughed so naturally in a conversation with a man.

  At that point the doctor came in and Doug went into the corridor while he examined Allison. When the doctor came out, he said, “She’s fit as a fiddle. She can go home.”

  Doug was both relieved and sorry. He was glad she was OK, but wanted to see more of her, and didn’t quite know how he was going to manage it. He went back in the room and told her he’d wait outside while she got dressed. When she emerged, he was relieved to see that the clothes he’d brought both fitted and suited her. “Now, I’m seeing the real you,” he offered with a smile.

  Allison stiffened just a little and almost immediately relaxed – not, however, before Doug noticed the tension. “You should be so lucky,” she replied more sharply than she intended.

  This lady has some real problems with guys, he thought. Maybe it’s just as well if we don’t go on with it, Doug thought. He took her to the garage, where as it turned out she was also able to hire a clunker if she let them do the repairs. That was so convenient that she readily agreed, and was supplied with a beat up Chevy. Doug waited while she signed the necessary papers, and then took his leave, giving her his card. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call,” he said.